Stress, sex and singles | Live Well Nebraska

I came across a great quote by Henry David Thoreau ? ?I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.?

Being single may not be what they had planned for their lives, but for some people this quote might clearly describe their feelings about the dating circuit.

In my practice, I often hear from singles who find the expectations of a date very stressful. A common stressor for a single person is sex and intimacy.

Sex and intimacy can complicate dating and new relationships.

Why?

A single person must consider:

• Safety concerns, more specifically sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)

• The question of when to allow sex to enter the relationship

• All the new forms of communication ?twitter, email, text messaging and instant messages which takes communicating to a whole level.

• YouTube and the explosion of video posting to the web

STDs are a very real health concern in the United States. Some statistics put the number of new STD infections at 19 million a year.

So the issue of STDs in today?s dating scene is a very real concern for men and women alike. The stress it puts on a relationship centers on simple discussion of the issue.

• If you have an STD, how do you tell your potential partner?

• How do you ask the STD status of your partner?

• If there is an STD present, how can you still enjoy an intimate life together

Other issues related to being single and new intimate relationships include:

• Past pregnancy issues and fertility concerns

• Cancer survivorship or other illnesses; this can include scars and ostomies

Other factors that can make single life complicated:

• Someone who is single, but has children from a previous relationship

• Entering the dating sector after a recent divorce or death of a partner

Regardless of the pressure or issue that might be holding you back, the bottom line is communication with your potential partner.

In order to ease the stress and tension of dating, you must:

• Be able to communicate your needs and wants.

• Be comfortable with your own sexual self and be comfortable in asking questions about sex and your partner?s sexual history.

• Be firm with your boundaries, desires and sexual expectations.

• Give yourself permission to explore your sexual sense of self as well as saying no and leaving situations that are not comfortable.

• Give yourself permission to treat any sexual problems you may be having and communicate those problems with your partner.

While these tips won?t alleviate all the anxiety you might feel before that next blind date, or the fifth date, they could help you open those lines of communication and get you well on your way to dating and relationship bliss.

Source: http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/2011/07/26/stress-sex-and-singles/

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